More compassion does not always lead to a better relationship
Published: Wednesday, May 8th 2024, 08:20
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More compassion does not lead to a better relationship for all couples. A new study by the University of Lucerne shows that the connection between compassion and mutual attraction, which was previously thought to be universally valid, only applies to around half of couples.
This finding has implications for couples therapy, the Swiss National Science Foundation (SNSF) wrote in a press release on the study on Wednesday. "If you look at couples individually, this can lead to different results than if you take the average of all of them," study leader Andrew Gloster was quoted as saying in the press release.
The assumption that everyone ticks in the same way, so-called psychological homogeneity, has long been questioned. However, phychotherapeutic research has only recently become aware of this.
Compassion is a topic in couples therapy
Previously, it was assumed that a partner would find the other person more attractive if he or she felt compassion for them. Compassion for oneself was also considered a prerequisite for loving others. Most counseling sessions in couples therapy therefore tended to promote these qualities.
Gloster's team has now analyzed data that was previously collected as part of another study. For this, 84 heterosexual couples from Switzerland kept a kind of diary in real time: they assessed their compassion for their partner, their self-compassion and the attractiveness of their partner several times a day for a week.
Compassion leaves many cold
According to the study, which was published in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, this correlation was also true for half of the couples. In the other half, the researchers found hardly any correlation between compassion for the other person and attraction.
According to the SNF, however, one result on self-compassion was particularly unexpected: men with self-compassion even perceived their wives or girlfriends as less attractive.
©Keystone/SDA
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